Running from the Daylight

MAY 28, 2025: Ava's first live singing and piano performance. She selected 'Daylight' by David Kushner.

More than 20 years ago when I started writing my memoir, I had no idea I would one day be the mother to a son and two daughters. And that despite growing up without a mother, father or family I would eventually find my way to becoming the kind of mother I wish I'd had. The kind of mother who loves without condition and who cherishes every precious moment.

I worry, perhaps too often about the imperfect things.

The divorce that couldn't be avoided. My history as an abused foster child and teen runaway. The family I could never give them because I never had one. And of course the wrong choices I made that brought adversity into all of our lives.

I have to remember my children are more than okay. They are thriving and finding their own footing. They are learning and have learned from my mistakes. They are stronger for what we have faced together and for all we have overcome. And more than all that, they are so deeply loved.

Tonight while I was home with a fever and the flu I had no choice but to miss this performance, but I was grateful to receive a video of it. It instantly brought tears to my eyes.

Magic and irony all rolled up into one. My daughter singing a song about running from the daylight as I, her mother wrote a memoir titled 'Running Into the Night.'

At thirteen, she's understanding in her own way, the sins or injustices of this world. The song lyrics mention 'hiding our sins from the daylight.' My memoir is about figuratively running into the night where people's demons live and sins most often occur.

I'm overtaken by the cosmic magic of my daugher's song selection. By our shared lives, and how it is true we can sometimes relive some of our past through our children. My daughters are excelling despite the challenges we all face in private. I excelled as much as I could despite the challenges I also faced.

But in seeing my children thrive, I have faith that all will be well in time. And what I wish for most is for my children and I to finally settle into a sense of stability and peace. That we can all stand under the light of the same sun with gratitude and not have to run from anything, day or night ever again.

If you'd like to listen to the original song 'Daylight' by David Kushner here's the link on Spotify

‘Running Into the Night’ is currently undergoing revision. The first edition received such wonderful feedback, and I’m thrilled to share the upcoming second edition will be even more impactful.

This time, I’m unveiling a long-held mission to help improve the lives of foster children growing up the way I did. I can't wait to share more updates soon.